Bloodied and Broken
by UnstoppableForce
Summary: It wasn't the first time he'd been covered in someone else's blood, and he doubted that it would be the last. Gen


Disclaimer: No, I don't own NCIS.

Readable as slash or gen, nothing solid stating either way. :)

Warning for semi-graphic suicide of OC's and reference to canon character death.

_._

_He began to knock on the door, only to find that it was ajar. Pulling his gun, he gently nudged the door open and entered the apartment, lit only by the setting sun._

_He moved down the hallway quickly yet carefully, turning at the end to see into the living room. There, in front of the picture window, stood his partner._

_With a knife at his throat._

"_Jason..." He spoke gently, wanting to attract his partner's attention but not scare him. The dark haired man looked over at Tony, eyes full of sorrow._

"_I'm sorry."_

_He closed his eyes just in time to protect them from the spray of blood. Opening them a few seconds later he saw his partner's body fall to the floor lifelessly, empty eyes staring at him-_

Tony jolted awake. He didn't even know how he'd managed to doze off in the first place. _Guess I must have been more tired than I thought._

He rubbed at his face absently, glancing over at Gibbs in the drivers seat who was for once driving carefully. Watching him for a few seconds, Tony could easily see why. Gibbs kept surreptitiously glancing over at Tony out of the corner of his eye, and he was tense. Very tense. Tony couldn't remember why though; his brain still half asleep. _I'll just close my eyes again for a second..._

He leant his head against the window and drifted off to sleep without meaning to.

_They were on the rooftop, laughing a little as they helped her up off the ground, her shoulder length dark hair mussed up, hanging lifelessly in the absence of a breeze. She turned her head to him as she smiled, before looking at the other man on the roof with them. He backed away a step as they talked._

_She started to say something, but was cut off mid-sentence by a bullet. Blood sprayed over his face and he winced, screwing his eyes shut to stop the blood getting into them for the second time in his life._

_He opened them as she fell to the floor lifelessly, empty eyes staring-_

He opened his eyes, glancing at his surroundings quickly, needing to orient himself. He glanced down at his clothes.

His blood soaked clothes.

He ran his finger down the blood on his shirt, feeling the slight dampness that was still there in places among the dried, crusting brownish stains, and let the memories of the afternoon take over.

_He'd gone into the dining room in the house to ask the dead man's girlfriend a few more questions while Gibbs looked around for more evidence. They were pretty sure that she'd killed him, but they needed evidence, so having finally received the warrant, Gibbs had taken Tony with him to check out the house, leaving Ziva and McGee back at base chasing down other leads. They had to be thorough after all._

_Turned out that the other leads would be dead ends._

_Emily Russell was standing next to the dining table, staring into the mirror on the wall with a knife at her throat. Tony stopped in his tracks._

"_Miss Russell?" He said softly. She turned to face him, the knife not wavering. Her eyes full of sorrow, like Jason's had been all those years before._

"_Emily, don't do this."_

"_Why not? I killed him. I killed David. I can't face prison, I can't."_

"_Why did you kill David?" Tony asked, stalling for time and hoping Gibbs would come in here soon._

_She didn't reply, instead gazing out of the window behind him._

"_Miss Russell? Why did you kill David?" Tony asked again. She seemed to hear him that time, tearing her gaze from the window and focusing back on him._

"_I... I don't know."_

_Then she pressed the blade to her throat harshly, the razor sharp blade slicing into her skin like butter. Blood spurted from the small incision, coating the mirror like paint from a spray can, adding graffiti to the otherwise perfect cream walls, marring the beautifully polished tabletop and coating Tony in blood. His eyes were shut again, and he opened them to see her body twist as it fell, empty eyes staring at Tony's shoes._

Now, several hours later Tony sat at on the sofa in Gibbs' living room, staring into space. The older man had herded him through the corridors of NCIS, taking him through to the decontamination showers. They'd had to walk through the squadroom to get there. Gibbs had kept Tony on his right side, closest to the window, shielding him somewhat from staff and agents alike on the floor, making sure he didn't see Abby's gasp of shock when she saw just how much blood was on his clothes, McGee's wide-eyed look, Ziva's wince, Ducky's minute shake of his head.

Gibbs had guarded the showers while Tony cleaned himself up, getting rid of the younger man's ruined clothes and fetching him a worn pair of jeans from his locker along with one of Gibbs' own hoodies, handing them over wordlessly when the younger man had looked for them. He'd then wrapped one arm around Tony's shoulders when he'd shivered and led him to the bullpen, where he'd had been sat down in Gibbs' chair, wrapped in a blanket and thoroughly fussed over by Abby, checked over by Ducky and worried about from afar by Ziva and McGee, who had all been given a very brief explanation of what had happened before Gibbs had disappeared off up to the Director's office.

Tony glanced up as Gibbs walked over to him from the kitchen. He handed Tony a bowl of soup and a mug of tea, knowing that the younger man preferred it to coffee before sitting down next to him, letting Tony lean into his side. Tony didn't touch his soup at first, instead lost in thought.

It wasn't the first time he'd had someone else's blood all over his face. He could still feel it, each individual person's. Jason's, his old partner from Philly, Kate's, and now Emily's. Their blood burned hot on his skin, no matter how hard he scrubbed at it, how raw his skin ended up he could still feel it.

The dreams were worse. In those, he could see it too. His blood soaked face, guilty blood soaked hands that couldn't save their lives. He was going to have nightmares tonight, he knew it. Jason's death, Kate's death, and now Emily's. Only those three if he was lucky, but there were plenty more nightmares where they had come from.

_What's one more?_ He wondered. _One more nightmare to add to the collection. Won't be long, then there'll be another new one._

_Hopefully not a team member next time._

Three weeks later, Gibbs told him 'You'll do.'


End file.
